The other day as I was working on a piece for our community's blog (http://stwalburg.blogspot.com/), I ran across a wonderful quote. First it was attributed to Oscar Wilde (it sounds like him), then I found a reference that said it came from Voltaire (That's even more believable; the Englishman probably borrowed it from the Frenchman.):
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."
When I read it, my initial impression was that the word "first" meant natural or primary, and that struck me as quite true. Isn't illusion often an unconscious refuge when things are hard to face? It takes real effort to try to look at something when it's not what we want or expect to see.
I think that can be true when we look at ourselves. Have you ever noticed how easy it is, for example, to excuse ourselves when we slip up in our responsibilities? It's really easy to blame the situation or another person. Compare that with our reluctance to accept even the same excuse when it comes from another person who failed at something. It seems to me that we tend to give reasons a lot more credibility when they emanate from our own lips about our own actions than when someone else offers them about themselves.
This is where I see Voltaire's comment ringing true. When we judge our actions, we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt much more readily than we give it to others; it's easier for us to cut more slack for ourselves than we do for others.
In monastic life we take a vow of conversion. One way to describe this is that we daily keep working to become as fully Christ-like as we can. Because each of us humans has so many flaws, this is a life-long process. One thought to cherish is that God sees us and loves us, warts and all. Our challenge is to love ourselves and others the same way. To see ourselves as flawless is an unnecessary illusion; to see flaws as a tool for becoming a better human being and a stronger reflection of Christ is our challenge.
A Kentucky monk
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