Last Saturday I went to a memorial Mass celebrating the life and death of a long-time friend with whom I'd been out of touch. It was one of those situations where, despite the fact I hadn't seen or really talked to her for some years, I still felt close. She was a marvelous person who had a great deal of influence on me, especially in my younger years. (She was a good 15 or so years older than I.) I could write a lot about her and how she touched me, but at this point I'll just reflect on my experience at the Mass.
Joyce was a woman of great vision who at the same time was always connected with present reality, so I wasn't surprised that she had picked out the readings and music for her own funeral. Others have done that, but the effect on me this day was surprising. Part of it was the music, part of it the readings, part of it the text she chose for her funeral card, and part of it the fact the presider was a close friend who wove the scriptures and personal memories together in his homily.
All of this came together to give me an almost tangible sense of her presence; it was as though I could see her there in our midst. It also combined to give me a one-word key to her life, and that was love. I'd never thought of that specifically about her. In my mind she was generous, stimulating, visionary, calm, usually "out of the box"...... Now I could see that all she did came from a deep, all-embracing love of God. This love was manifested in ways that, while often out of step with most of society, were integral to her understanding of and her relationship with this infinite Being whose ways could never be limited.
I was grateful too that this Mass brought together many people whom I knew long ago, often because of our mutual friendship with Joyce. I find it a gift to have wonderful experiences of our past resurrected to be enjoyed again in a new way, and that's another one of the things that this day brought. Indeed, Joyce, both in her life and in her death, was a memorable gift.
a ky monk
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